The Muslim world has faced numerous catastrophes over the past millennium, including the Crusades, the Mongol invasion, and most recently, colonization. These events have drained the Ummah of its morale and vigor. However, with the help of God and thanks to unwavering faith (imaan) and strong family units, the Muslim Ummah has always been able to overcome these tribulations and regain its lost spirit.
However, the most devastating fitna (tribulation) currently afflicting the Muslim world is that of Haram Relationships. This tribulation is affecting both the micro and macro levels of society. It is doing what even Renaud de Châtillon or Hulagu Khan couldn’t do: not only draining the faith (imaan) of our young individuals but also damaging the most important societal institution—the family unit.
How do Haram Relationships Destroy Imaan
Mawlana Sayyid Abul A’la Maududi stated that there are three idols in our hearts that must be destroyed, as Prophet Ibrahim (a.s) destroyed the idols of his time, in order to be true believers: the self (preferring our desires over Allah’s commands and prohibitions), society (blindly following the blameworthy beliefs and practices of a society), and personalities (a leader or a beloved you blindly adore).[1] These three idols manifest together in a single phenomenon of haram relationships. The preference for desire, adherence to society, and adoration of a beloved are compounded together in this one grave sin.
Have you ever considered the case of him who has taken his carnal desire for his god?
Qur’an, 25:43
According to a tradition related by Abu Hurairah, the Prophet ﷺ said: Of all the false gods being worshiped and served instead of Allah, the worst in the sight of Allah is one’s own lust.[2] In another sound Hadith, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Verily, every religion has a character, and the character of Islam is Haya (modesty).”[3] Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also conveyed the words of past Prophets that, “If you feel no shame, do as you wish.”[4] Thus, a haram relationship destroys the most vital component of our faith.
Furthermore, indulging in haram relationships diminishes our taqwa (God-consciousness) and gradually leaves our faith in ruins. The prerequisite for a guilt-free “happy” relationship is that the two partners abandon their God-consciousness. Once all bounds have been transgressed, Satan finally instills despair in the person’s heart and makes them lose hope in Allah’s Mercy. For a temporal pleasure, the person loses eternal joy.
And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except those who are astray?
Qur’an, 15:56
In popular culture, especially Bollywood, it is a common motif to place the human beloved above everything in existence. The enormity of some lyrics can even reach up to Shirk. For instance, a movie song of a popular Indian Muslim superstar translates to “I see God in you…My head bows down in worship to you, My beloved, what should I do?“[5] Themes and lyrics of a similar spirit are rampant in Bollywood cinema.
Importance of the Family Unit
To maintain stability and peace in society, as well as happiness in individual lives, the family unit is paramount. Without this crucial component, even the most affluent individuals can be afflicted by depression and insanity. The love for family life is ingrained in our Fitrah (innate predisposition), and the family unit holds society together. Once the family unit is destroyed, the entire society collapses soon after.
In J.D. Unwin’s 1934 book “Sex and Culture,” 86 cultures were surveyed, including 80 primitive societies and six highly developed civilizations. The author concluded that whenever chastity was removed from a society, it was destroyed within three generations.
The United States is often considered a leading example of human civilization, but it is concerning to note that the country has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, with 14 persons per 100,000 committing suicide. In addition, it also has one of the highest rates of depression among teens and young adults, with a rate of 17% according to usnews.com. Furthermore, the country’s family system is strained, with 50% of all marriages ending in divorce.
Moreover, dating culture often focuses on superficial factors such as physical appearance, pretentious emotions, and social status. When these factors fail to meet expectations, people tend to break off relationships. This practice of frequent experimentation with partners and emotions can leave both parties feeling unsatisfied in emotional, psychological, and physical aspects. As a result, the dating culture has led to a sharp increase in divorce rates, contributing to the rise of single-parent households. Unfortunately, this can have a traumatic impact on children, who may experience depression or resort to crime later in life, ultimately weakening society. The Muslim world has traditionally relied on a strong family unit as a defense against external threats, but this is now being undermined by the prevalence of haram relationships.
What’s Behind the Prevalence of Haram Relationships?
We are living in a hypersexualized era. Capitalism has fostered a competitive environment in the advertising domain, and nothing appeals more to audiences than sexually stimulating content. Consequently, the competition is practically devolved into brands contesting with each other in disseminating the most racy advertisements.
Furthermore, it is easier to access haram outlets than halal ones. Companionship and physical intimacy are natural human urges, like hunger and safety. However, when these desires are not fulfilled in a natural and permissible way, people may resort to unethical or shortcut methods to satiate them. As Pakistani scholar Mufti Tariq Masood once said, “If one is unable to find food, he/she will be compelled to eat from the garbage.”
Getting into a haram relationship can be as easy as swiping on a dating app, while marriage often involves numerous demands and hurdles, such as a lucrative career, personal house, unrealistic beauty and fitness standards, and more. For many people, it takes time to fulfill these requirements, and they may pass the standard age for marriage in the meantime. In such a hypersexualized culture, it is likely that individuals may turn to outlets like pornography or premarital relationships to fulfill their base desires.
Another significant factor contributing to the prevalence of haram relationships is social engineering through modern education and mass media. The secular curriculum taught in schools often instills a materialistic perspective in children, where every decision is measured in terms of profit and loss. The concept of the ghayb (unseen) and its consequences in the afterlife become less important, and decisions such as engaging in premarital relationships are viewed as a natural fulfillment of essential human desires.
Moreover, the modern education system can make the Muslim mind more susceptible to embracing foreign-centered ideologies such as secularism and liberalism, which are fundamentally antithetical to the Islamic worldview. Embracing these ideologies can take away the moral compass rooted in God-given Fitrah, and acts that are transgressions in the eyes of God can appear to be a natural part of human existence.
Furthermore, the mainstream entertainment industry has normalized and even glorified haram relationships, while the pornographic industry inflames the vilest desires in the human soul. In addition to that, peer pressure in university settings can also act as a significant motivator for pursuing haram relationships.
Potential Solutions
Here are some possible solutions to address the prevalence of haram relationships:
1. Reintroduce Islam to our generation by emphasizing its core foundations and spirit, along with the meanings of the Quran and the life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Rather than limiting religious instruction to reciting the Quran, we should educate people on the values and principles of Islam.
2. Allow young people to marry early to facilitate the lawful fulfillment of natural desires. In cases of financial constraints, we can still conduct the Nikah contract and delay consummation until things have stabilized.
3. Avoid all forms of haram entertainment, such as Hollywood movies and TV shows. If quitting is too difficult, replace them with entertainment that has minimal or no haram content. Arab and Turkish Islamic shows can be an alternative.
4. Opt for Muslim-friendly universities and schools that support and protect our faith. While secular institutions may seem financially appealing, protecting our imaan should be our priority. Supporting traditional madrasahs with our finances and by sending our children will help improve their quality and support the growth of the industry.
By implementing these solutions, we can help prevent the collapse of our family system and protect future generations from the negative consequences of haram relationships.
References:
[1] Fundamentals of Islam, Sayyid Abul A’la Maudoodi
[3] Sunan Ibn Majah 4182, Sahih li Ghayrihi (authentic due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani
[5] Rab ne Bana di Jodi, 2008. Tujh mein rab dikhta hai…Sajde sar jhukta hai…Yaara main kya karoon
Much needed Article in these dire time
Mashallah! Thank you for bringing this to our(teens) notice and also I appreciate how subtly you explained such a serious matter. May Allah guide us to implement this in our lives. Jazakallah khair.
It all makes sense this article was much needed for to wake the people!!!
Mashallah! Thank you for bringing this to our(teens) notice and also I appreciate how subtly you explained such a serious matter. May Allah guide us to implement this in our lives. Jazakallah khair.
Absolutely awesome.. May Allah enrich your writing skills and guide others through it.. Ma Sha Allah..
Well written article; a mandatory topic for today’s times that every youth should reflect upon.
Well written article; a mandatory topic which needs to be discussed more often in today’s time. May the youth reflect upon this.
Well said. Brilliant examples given. Many critical points outlined. Must read.
Salute to your hardwork brother, may Allah bless you and help you to grow bigger and reach this article to millions of Muslim youth all around the world , keep growing and keep posting such amazing article which can help us
Masha Allah. To speak on such topics and bring these issues openly to the Ummah is the need of this hour. The article precisely diagnosed the problems, pointed out the causes and figured out the solution in the light of Islamic teachings. May Allah reward you the best and help us build our Iman strongest.
This article speaks what i have been realising and spent hours figuring out. The way haram has made our muslim brothers and sisters stone hearted it shows how much indulging in haram takes us away from allah. The worst consequence being them not understanding this is allahs anger that he isnt putting them in azmaish because he doesnt want you close to him. What more evidence do you want really? I have seen families all together that have reduced islam just to praying and using it for milad un nabi for playing nasheeds on loud speakers. Also its the funniest when they say women in islam are oppressed when its only in islam that we have more rights for women than any liberal school of thought. The way indulging in haram puts you further in a black hole and only people who have tried and come out of it know and thank allah taala the most when they realise the stark difference between their then and now life.